Time
by Pandora Anne
Summary: My version of the aftermath of the whole Reuben's death/ Danny cheating etc etc thing. There is some angst near the beginning so you are officially warned, though I think I make up for it in the end.
1. Love Story

A.N: Alright so this would not leave me alone until I wrote it down, then of course, I couldn't write it down without posting it. This is my first story in a while, I've been pretty busy for the past . . . well, long time. This was originally supposed to be a one shot but I couldn't resist adding a little something extra, so that's in the other chapter that I'm posting at the same time, all those who are interested can mosey on over and give it a look-see, I mean, it is only a click away. As always, reviews are very welcome and much appreciated. Also, if I've gotten something wrong with the continuity or anything, completely my fault, I've just been so angry at how the writers (on the show) developed (or rather forgot to develop) this relationship that I can't remember much past me grasping for more Danny/Lindsay moments. Alright, I'm done now. Enjoy the story.

The shrill ringing cut through the silent darkness like a knife and Danny Messer bolted awake, one hand scrambling for his glasses, the other searching for the sound of the ringing. Finally his fingers closed around a sleek, metallic rectangle, his cell phone.

"Hello?" he answered, his voice rough and groggy. Rubbing his eyes free of sleep, and putting his glasses on, he tried to focus on the sound coming from his phone. His sleep-addled brain couldn't place it for a few moments then his heart dropped into his stomach and he was fully awake. Crying, someone was crying on the other end.

"Lindsay?" He sat up against his pillows, heart thumping unevenly in his chest. His girl was crying, she was hurt and he had been the one to hurt her.

"Look, Lindsay, I'm really sorry, I know that sounds ridiculous but it's true, I mean . . ."

"Danny, I didn't call for you to apologize again." Her voice crackled over the line, broken and heavy with tears but he couldn't stop the small blossom of hope that sprung up at the sound of her voice, she was finally calling him, finally talking to him.

"Then what . . .?"

"Just . . . Can you listen? There's some stuff I need to get off my chest and it's just going to be much easier if I can get it all out"

"Sure, sure, I'm listening." Danny answered, though it was somewhat of an understatement, he clutched the phone to his ear, his whole body seemingly tuned to the sound of her voice.

"You're an ass Danny Messer" she said, the anger in her voice undercutting the sadness that still tinged every word.

"I know, Lindsay and . . ." he couldn't help himself from interrupting.

"I said listen, Danny, not interrupt." Lindsay cut in, effectively shutting him off.

"You're an ass, Danny." She repeated "I mean, I know how it feels to lose someone you care about, to run it over in your head hundreds of different ways, try to think what you could've done to save them, wonder if you just been a little smarter or a little braver if they would still be alive. I know how that feels, Danny and I also know how alone you feel afterwards, how guilty and angry and sad. But that doesn't give you the right to do what you did. You were hurting and angry and I get that, but I was standing there the whole time, waiting to help you, wanting to be there for you, hoping you would see how much I cared about you but you just shut the door on me, Danny and it's going to take a lot more than an apology to make that better." She was silent for a moment, breath hitching in and out unevenly and the only thing Danny could think of to say was;

"I know"

"Do you know, Danny? What happened to Reuben was horrible and tragic and I get that you didn't think you could confide in me because it didn't concern me, but it did. It did because it concerned you. Your heart was breaking and I couldn't do anything to help, and that broke my heart, all I wanted to do was help you." Lindsay took a deep breath, as if steeling herself for something unpleasant. It was a sound Danny had heard many times before, usually while they were working a case together, before they had to face an unrepentant killer or the discovery of another body in a case they thought they had already solved, the distinction sent a shiver down Danny's spine.

"But now all I feel like doing is punching you, really, really hard and making you see exactly what was going on while you were blinded by grief. It wasn't just me that was sitting on the sidelines, waiting for you to let your guard down and let someone in, it was all of us, Stella, Mac, Hawkes, Flack, even Adam. I mean, your mother even called me to see what she could do to help for God's sake. I've never even met the woman and she called me crying because you wouldn't even let your own mother in. I mean, how selfish can you get, Danny?"

Danny opened his mouth to retaliate, to fight back, but no sound came out. She was right, of course she was right, he had been selfish, had closed himself off from anyone that might've been able to help him, instead preferring to drown in his ocean of grief.

"I don't know if I can do this anymore, Danny" she whispered, the sound almost disappearing behind her tears but Danny heard it, loud and clear. This time he had to fight back, prove to her that she was wrong, that he did need her, he was just too stupid to see it before.

"Don't say that, Lindsay. Please don't say that, I can't do this without you, I don't know what . . ." the words died on his tongue.

Lindsay laughed, a harsh, cruel sound that sounded jarringly out of place coming from his sweet innocent Lindsay.

"What? You don't know what you would've done without me? Sure you do, Dann-o, the same thing you did anyway. I mean, you pushed me so far away it was like I wasn't there anyway." Her sarcasm grated on Danny's ears, this wasn't his Lindsay, this Lindsay was angry and in pain, this Lindsay was his fault.

"We can work this out, Lindsay, we can fix this" he pleaded, trying to erase this awful dopple-ganger that had taken the place of his sweet, soft, loving Lindsay. Almost without knowing it, he swung his legs over the side of his bed and walked out of his bedroom, needing to walk, needing to do something other than just sit and listen to Lindsay's heart break. He walked to the kitchen, phone still clutched tightly to his ear, and began opening and closing drawers and cupboards, looking something he couldn't identify.

"Can we, Danny? It seems like so much to fix. I mean, not only you cheating on me, but everything, our whole relationship. I mean, there was so much build-up, so much fire, I guess I was expecting a supernova when we finally . . . but it just . . . " she sighed, a heavy, unhappy sound "You never touched me Danny." The words seemed to burst out of her.

"What are you talking about? I touched you all the time" The words carried a sexual connotation that Danny hadn't meant to add, and Lindsay seemed to pick up on it.

"I don't mean when we were alone together, Danny, I mean, when we were at work or out to dinner. How difficult would it have been to kiss my cheek or something when no one was looking or touch my waist as you walked by? I wasn't expecting a wild proclamation of love in front of everyone we know, but just something to show that you cared. That wall was up months before Reuben died." Once again, the harsh, cold laugh barked into Danny's ear and once again he shuddered.

"You didn't notice, did you? No, I guess you didn't. There was this one time, maybe three weeks before Reuben died, I came into work wearing a new outfit I had bought specifically to get your attention. White, fitted, low cut shirt, tight black A-line skirt and these ridiculous black heels that cost me almost a month's salary and had me in pain pretty much the entire day, I even fixed my hair and make up all nice. I had this fantasy of you seeing me in this outfit and being unable to control yourself and dragging me into a broom closet or an abandoned room or something." Again, the laugh, this time it seemed to be coming in on all sides, seemed to be almost crushing him with the sound of it "I guess I've been reading too much Cosmopolitan because you barely even looked at me the whole day, I wore those goddamn shoes all day and you didn't do more than say hi to me. It's just . . . It seems too hard to fix something that's been broken from the beginning."

"Then we'll start over." Danny promised, his whole body screaming at him to make her listen, to keep her with him, he knew now that he couldn't keep going without her. He had taken advantage of her sweetness and her love in the past but he had been without it for too long that he knew that losing it forever was worse than anything he could imagine. Her sigh rumbled through the ear piece and once again Danny was seized with the sudden impression that the sound had escaped from the phone, that he would be able to hear her voice even without the phone at his ear.

"Lindsay, I can't do this without you, and wait, I know you're going to say I managed fine without you before, but I didn't, I was a mess, Lindsay, even before Reuben . . . I didn't know how to love you, I thought that I would just go with my gut and it would tell me what to do but I've learnt my lesson. I can't just rely on myself anymore, I've been without you for too long and it just doesn't work, so I'll do anything to fix it, Lindsay, please."

Lindsey's words escaped on a sigh;

"Danny, I don't know"

This time it seemed like she was standing right behind him, whispering in one ear while her voice moved through their cell phones into the other. Without thinking, he spun around. The empty darkness seemed to mock him, 'you're alone' it whispered, 'there's no one here but you, you'll only ever be alone'. But he wouldn't believe it, he could feel her, almost taste her breath on the air, it was like he was addicted to her, being without her only made his emotions that much more potent when she was around.

"It'll work" Danny promised, striding to the front door, undoing the locks hurriedly, without thinking and flinging the door open.

"We can start over Montana" His eyes fell on the vaguely human shape curled up next his door, head down. For a second, his heart dropped, he was wrong, it wasn't her, just some drunk sleeping it off in his hallway but then she lifted her head and it was his Lindsay. His Montana, with tear tracks down her cheeks and a quivering smile on her lips. He dropped to his knees beside her, his hands going out automatically to wipe away the tears, to fix her, make her all better.

"You came" he said, voice tinged with something resembling awe. "You're really here" he said it more to convince himself than anything, to shock his system into realizing that this was actually happening.

Lindsay shrugged, as though it was nothing, as though it wasn't one of the hardest things she had to do just to force herself to his doorstep.

"You came to get me before, I was just returning the favor" And then Danny couldn't help himself. Lindsay was in his arms, her face was inches away from his, he would not push her away again. Bringing her lips to his, he kissed her, letting all his pent up fear and wanting and guilt pour into the kiss, wanting her to see, wanting her to feel that he needed her.

Endless seconds passed and finally he pulled away.

"This isn't going to be easy, Danny." she warned him sternly but he couldn't focus on her tone, only on her words, she was saying yes. "We're going to have to work on this, together, that's what love is. We don't push the other person away, we hold on to them, we fight, together. I can't do this, Danny, if you're not going to fight for it. I'm too tired to carry this relationship by myself"

"Of course, I'm in this 100 percent, I need you Montana, I'll do anything . . ." he was babbling and he knew it but he couldn't stop himself, his body felt like it was bubbling over with happiness.

"And we can't forget everything, Danny, I know it would be easier that way, just to pretend nothing ever happened, but we have to remember it, because I don't want to fall into the same trap we did before"

"Yes, anything you want" Danny brought her in for another kiss, just to relish in the feel of her lips against his once again, how right it felt.

"And one last thing" Lindsay added, her resolve quickly crumbling away. "If I come to work in a super sexy outfit and crazily uncomfortable but super hot shoes you have to notice."

"And drag you into a broom closet?"

"Yes, and drag me into a broom closet." A small pout played around her lips and Danny had to stop himself from laughing out loud.

"Anything you want" he promised and kissed her again, pulling her body closer to his, wanting to feel her, wanting to hold her after being so long without her.

They pulled apart when the lack of oxygen became an issue, Danny rested his forehead against hers.

"Do you want to come inside?" he asked, the words out of his mouth before he could stop them, but he didn't care. He finally had her, was finally holding her in his arms and he wanted it to be a long time before he let her go.

"A bit forward there, aren't you?" she asked, laughter ringing in every syllable

"Well, how do you expect to make a supernova if we don't give it a few sparks?" Lindsay's laughter burst through her and Danny had to wonder how long it had been since he had heard her laugh, a real laugh, not the awful, cynical not-Lindsay laugh.

"That has got to be the cheesiest and most effective pick up line I have ever heard." She kissed him quickly on the lips to illustrate her point. Danny helped her to her feet, keeping his hand on her back even when she was standing up and making her way into his apartment, he couldn't bear to part with her just yet.


	2. Epilogue

AN: So, this is the continuation. Hopefully, you all liked the first part and that is why you've decided to check out this part. Also, I forgot to add in the first part my apologies for the lameness of the title. I honestly couldn't think of anything better. The poem recited below is called 'I miss you' and since it's credited to anonymous, I figured it would be safe to use. But just so you know, the poem is not mine, I just like it a lot. Also another thing I forget to mention in the first part, I do not in anyway own Danny and Lindsay or CSI: New York, except for the fact that I have the seasons on DVD. This story is not for profit, just for fun. Enjoy

The early morning light filtered softly through Danny's window, the picture it illuminated was a far cry from the night before. Lindsay was sleeping, her head resting against Danny's chest, one hand gripping the dog tags he always wore, keeping him anchored to her. Danny's eyes were closed, though the one hand that was playing in Lindsay's hair and the other drawing aimless circles on her back hinted that he wasn't asleep, just basking in the feeling of having his girl with him again. Lindsay began to stir and Danny's eyes slid open slowly, wanting to be the first thing she saw when she woke up.

She smiled, reaching up to kiss him gently on the lips, perfectly content, nowhere near the emotionally ruined woman he had found crying outside his front door the night before.

"Morning" she said, burrowing deeper into his chest, letting loose a small yawn.

"Morning" he answered, his voice, rough with sleep and that unshakeable accent sent shivers down her spine.

"How long have you been up?" she asked. Danny shrugged and Lindsay felt the movement more than saw it.

"A while. It's alright though, I was enjoying the view" Lindsay nodded, accepting his answer, too content to fill the happy silence with meaningless words. They lay there, side by side for a few moments, both perfectly at ease.

"I like your hair like this" Danny offered after a while. Lindsay moved her head, folding her hands on his chest and propping her chin up in order to see him better.

"What do you mean? All tangled and full of knots?"

"No, the style, it's nice short. I don't think I've ever told you that" Lindsay shrugged, the movement somewhat awkward with her hands trapped under her chin.

"Probably not"

"I really do like it." he said "It's very sexy" the hand he had on her back began to travel downwards, coaxing goose-bumps from her bare skin.

"Hey, hands where I can see them, buddy."

"Alright, alright" he laughed, hands going automatically into the 'alright-officer-I-surrender' pose both of them had seen countless times from various suspects. Then he was moving, his torso twisting away from her, reaching for something on the night stand, then he was back, body fitting like a puzzle piece against Lindsay's.

"Here I got this for you, sort of like a belated birthday present" he offered her a rectangular object and Lindsay took it, sitting up in order to get a better look at it. She held the sheet tightly to her chest as she examined it.

"It's a book" she said, clearly confused

"Excellent observation, Detective Monroe, you'll make a wonderful crime scene investigator one day" Lindsay slapped his chest playfully, flipping through the pages of her present.

"It's a book of poetry" she added, voice clearly marked with awe.

"What? I can't have layers?" Danny asked, pretending to hurt.

"No, it's not that, I just expected it to be the Kama Sutra or a map of New York or something"

"Which I'll have to get you someday." Danny asserted, pointing a finger before folding his arm behind his head.

"What, the Kama Sutra? You trying to tell me something, Messer?"

"No, a map of New York. You have a lousy sense of direction."

"So buy me a compass" she mumbled, scanning through the pages of her book.

"Oh, she's making demands now." he joked, talking to no one in particular.

"No, I'm not" she shut the book and concentrated on Danny's face.

"Besides, I'm allowed to get lost. New York is confusing and I'm still just a poor little country girl"

"You've been here for three years, Montana, I think that excuse is past its expiry date." Lindsay rolled her eyes and went back to examining her book.

"Why are all these pages dog-eared?" she asked, raising the book for his inspection. Danny shrugged.

"Nothing really. Just some poems I thought you might like."

Lindsay's eyes went wide and she covered her mouth in pretend shock.

"The man's a poet, who knew?"

"I don't write the stuff, loopy, besides I've had quite a bit of time on my hands for the past little while." They were both silent, focused on the book Lindsay was playing with, the memory of their less than enjoyable past creeping up on them.

"Will you read me some?" She asked, offering him the book.

"What? Why?"

"Come on, Messer, read me some poetry with that oh so manly accent"

"You making fun of the way I speak?" he asked

"Not at all, officer" she laughed and the sound was like music to his ears. He would do anything to make her happy, keep her smiling and laughing and joking and she knew it.

"Alright, give it here" he said, holding his hand out for the book. Lindsay handed it to him willingly and lay back down, resting her cheek once more against his chest.

Danny flipped the pages, giving the impression of looking for something good but he already knew exactly which poem to recite.

"Alright, here's a good one" Danny cleared his throat

"I miss you in the morning, dear, when all the world is new; I know the day can bring no joy because it brings not you. I miss the well-loved voice of you, your tender smile for me, the charm of you, the joy of your unfailing sympathy. The world is full of folks, it's true, but there was only one of you. I miss you at the noontide, dear; the crowded city street seems but a desert now, I walk in solitude complete. I miss your hand beside my own the light touch of your hand, the quick gleam in the eyes of you so sure to understand. The world is full of folks, it's true, but there was only one of you. I miss you in the evening, dear, when the daylight fades away; I miss the sheltering arms of you to rest me from the day, I try to think I see you yet there where the firelight gleams - Weary at last, I sleep and still I miss you in my dreams. The world is full of folks, it's true, but there was only one of you"

He finished, his breath coming out shakily, nervous for her reaction. He had never told her in so many words exactly how he felt about her before now, even though they weren't precisely his words.

"It's beautiful, Danny." She said, turning her head to face him, silent tears in her eyes.

"I love you Lindsay" he said, the words escaping in a rush of relief and fear. He had waited so long to tell her, who knew what her reaction might be. "That's why this is going to work"

Lindsay studied him for a moment, the tears in her eyes threatening to spill over. Finally she leant over and kissed him gently, softly, lovingly.

"I love you too, Danny" she said pulling away. Danny smiled, and brought her lips to his once again. Kissing her hungrily, passionately, making up for all the time they had lost, all the time they would have now that they were together, finally.

"Now" he said, pulling away, his breath coming in heavy pants. "Where exactly are those ridiculously uncomfortable but oh so sexy shoes?" Lindsay laughed.

"They're in my closet, right next to my little black dress."

"You have a little black dress, Montana? What else have you been hiding from me?" Lindsay rolled her eyes

"Please, Messer, all women have a little black hidden in their closet somewhere, even us poor country girls." Danny seized her once again, bringing his mouth crashing down on hers.

Finally after all the tears and pain and time, they were right where they belonged.


End file.
